The Rhyming Rant

Ever feel like your man isn’t listening to you? Perhaps your partner just can’t get it through his head what it is you’re saying? Guys, is she speaking in gibberish? I came to the conclusion that maybe guys would get it a bit better with short stanzas and rhymes. Actually this idea started out as a pop-up book for that speacial someone. Poor guy; hope he has a sense of humor.

Here it goes:

Every man is a dumbass;
regardless of race or creed.
They are all confused,
by a woman’s basic needs.
In light of this,
this advice I beg you to heed.

To be desired is a goal much aspired!
But for the love of God respect that we’re tired!
Remember please that all good things happen in time.
(Or in my case if you add enough wine!)

Dates are lovely too,
but only if the planner is you.
I know decisions are scary
But the results rarely vary.
I am Always happier with you.

To be cherished and loved is great!
But please be warned,
If I feel possessed you’ll get nothing but hate
And you and yours will be scorned.

To be needed is simply divine,
But please act older than nine.
I swear if you act older and wiser
I’m really not a physical miser.

Gifts and flowers are amazing.
Preferably when the reason is hazy.
They always mean more,
When they don’t come from the store.
For reasons non-to obscure!

Compliments are always nice,
But only if you mean them.
Even in relationships lying is a vice!
You really don’t want to demean them.

Listening isn’t a gift.
Do it, or it will cause a rift.
It isn’t an optional thing.
So, please stop living that dream.

I hope these suggestions have helped.
Perhaps new insight they’ll whelp.
I hope you’re more inclined,
To actually know my mind,
*And maybe remember what I have said this time!*

Every man is a dumbass,
Universally confused.
They say they want smart sexy woman,
And then all act like they’re abused.

Smart sexy woman are rare.
So appreciate yours while she’s there!
Follow the rules said in rhyme.
Both will be happier in time!

Before I go, one last thought:
When you get what you say you wanted,
Be glad with what you got.
Please don’t be a fool like the rest of your lot!