The dating buffet

I’ll never forget how I would come home torn apart from a break-up in grade
school, and my mother in all her callousness would tell me that “Men are
like buses, Lauren. If you stand in one place long enough another one is
going to come by.” God, I hated her for that. Would it really have been too
much to get sympathy?

Well, yes, actually. The man/bus comparison has helped me a heckuva lot more
than any sympathy would have ever done. Actually not only has it helped me
it has helped countless friends too, so mom if you ever read this: thank
you. We all appreciate your wisdom.

On to the fun part: so, you’re recently dumped or have had your heart broken
in a variety of creative ways (believe me I know how random and easy it is
to have happen). You are of course, miserable, vindictive and, uhm
heartbroken - for lack of a better phrase. What do you do? I have found that
in general there are three ways to handle the situation. Most people use a
combination of the three techniques.

1.    Mope & cry – a lot of fun for a few days but sooner or later that
constant pain behind your eyes is going to get old and there is only so much
chocolate ice cream available.
2.    Drink yourself silly – also a lot of fun if you can remember your
actions and not wake up regretting those actions. Oh and be careful, it
frequently leads back to #1.
3.    Move on – probably the best. Well, no probably about it really. It is
the best. But we all know it can be hard to let go of a bad relationship,
and traumatic to leave a decent one so this is the hardest reaction to have.

On that whole moving on bit, many of my guy friends would prescribe beer and
hook-ups to get you over the slump and to that stage. I suppose there is
some truth there. My female friends swear by the chocolate ice cream tub and
tear-laced bitch fests. Well, those work too.

This isn’t about how you shouldn’t grieve for the death of your relationship
or drown your pain in an endorphin rush though – this is about realizing
that just because you had a relationship failure it IS NOT the end of the
world.

The sun will still rise tomorrow. Your friends will still be there, and
guess what, if you stand on that corner long enough another freaking bus is
going to pull up. There are millions of people looking for mates, sooner or
later another one is going to walk on by.

Who knows maybe the next one will have an even better route to take you on.